Relational Dialectics Theory

The example I decided to use for Relational Dialectics Theory is my relationship with my ex-girlfriend. I want to preface this entry by saying that this is going to sound like I am being harsh when I talk about her. I don’t mean to and don’t really want to but our relationship was very fitting in with Relational Dialectics.
When it came to Integration/Separation we definitely fit that mold, however, we didn’t fit it in the way that most people consider normal in a relationship. Usually it is the guy who wants to go out with his friends and the girl wants to spend more time together. In our situation she didn’t want to spend every day together, which I was alright with but I wanted to spend more time together than she did. We also were very secluded as opposed to being included with each other’s friends. We had no mutual friends, I didn’t know her friends very well and my friends didn’t like her very much so we never went out together. There was definitely always tension between us and our friends.
When it came to Stability/Change we tended to lean towards stability. One of the reasons that our relationship ended was that it became very predictable and it became a dialectic that was too much for us to deal with.
She was a horrible communicator so when it came to expression/nonexpression we definitely had some issues. I tried to be very open in dealing with her but she had problems expressing herself to me which was quite straining on me. She also struggled with revealing anything about herself to me. She actually said “there are things I will never tell you” which is not something you want to hear after being in a relationship for a year.
Maybe if I had a better grasp on Relational Dialectics when we were together then we would have made it but oh well, life goes on.